Former Lotus guitarist Michael Rempel wrote a heart-wrenching letter to his friend and former bandmate, percussionist Chuck Morris, who is currently missing and was last seen kayaking with his son Charley on Beaver Lake in Fayetteville, Ark., on Thursday, March 16.

The letter was posted on Facebook and began with the single question, “Where are you?” After starkly posing a question that is on so many people’s minds, Rempel addressed his feeling of uncertainty – the lingering feeling that many are wrestling with as Morris remains unfound. “My mind churns between the best and the worst case scenarios,” he wrote. “My mind is a story-making machine in its natural and understandable desire for answers. Yet answers are not forthcoming.”

From there, Rempel shared a thought of acceptance for himself and for all the others who are united in their love and prayers for Morris. He wrote that he–like all of those who are struggling with uncertainty–has no choice but to be with the feeling.

He went on to ponder what Morris would advise at this moment, “I imagine that you would wish us to be comforted rather than contorted in pain. I imagine that you would wish something like, ‘Just be there for each other. Let this moment be a heart-centered moment. May this moment remind you of the preciousness of life. May your fears and your tears bring you more deeply into your humanity and clarify your vision such that you clearly see the beauty that is your existence.’ That’s how I imagine your wish for us – all of us that love you.”

Rempel then remembered his friend calling him enigmatic, wild, innocent, loving, unabashedly himself and that loving him with such ease is a gift of his essence and it’s a gift he’s always given. Though Rempel stated at the time of writing his letter, he couldn’t accept the reality of Morris’ disappearance; he did express his feelings of wanting to honor Morris by being more alive, wilder, more innocent and more loving. He beautifully wrote, “In my love for you, I recognize my love for all of life, and my love for you will never diminish no matter how this thing turns out.”

He concluded his message with, “If you and Charley do not return to us in the way that we hope, I pray that all of us – we who love you – will find our own way home into our heart of hearts as a way to honor you and celebrate the immense light you’ve brought into this world. To you, Charley, Jenny, Amelia and your whole family: peace be with you. We are unwaveringly here for you.”

Since the disappearance, Lotus shared the Benton County Sheriff’s Office’s phone number [(479) 271-1008] for anyone who may have information that could assist in the search and later followed up with a GoFundMe which was created by a friend of Morris’ family to provide financial support for his immediate family. According to a report by the Fort Smith Times Record released this morning, a search of the area is underway on both the water and land, flyers have been posted, and hikers have been told to be on the lookout.

Members of a Lotus Facebook fan group have planned a virtual vigil set to take place tomorrow, Wednesday, March 22.

Read Rempel’s full message below.

Dear Chuck,

Where are you?

I love you so much. It is painful to be sitting here in the unknown. How are we to be with such news as this: *Chuck and Charley went kayaking and didn’t return.*

My mind churns between the best and the worst case scenarios. My mind is a story-making machine in it’s natural and understandable desire for answers. Yet answers are not forthcoming.

So all of us – all of us that love you – have no choice but to be with the unknown. I imagine that most of us feel fear and grief amidst the growing uncertainty that you’ll return to us. So, my friend, wherever you are, how would you advise us to relate to this moment of heart wrenching uncertainty?

I imagine that you would wish us to be comforted rather than contorted in pain. I imagine that you would wish something like, “Just be there for each other. Let this moment be a heart-centered moment. May this moment remind you of the preciousness of life. May your fears and your tears bring you more deeply into your humanity and clarify your vision such that you clearly see the beauty that is your existence.” That’s how I imagine your wish for us – all of us that love you.

Chuck, there has never been anyone like you. Your way of being human is enigmatic, wild, innocent, and loving. You have always been unabashedly yourself, and we who have been gifted by your essence *cannot help* but love you. Loving you is the inevitable outcome of you being you. It’s such a gift you’ve given to us: the gift of effortlessly loving you.

At this moment, when accepting the reality of your disappearance feels impossible, I want to honor you by becoming more fully alive, more wild, more innocent, and more loving. My grief is so immense, I could cry a river of tears. I choose to feel it fully, and in doing so, I feel more fully here, more fully human, and more in touch with what matters most in this short life. In my love for you, I recognize my love for all of life, and my love for you will never diminish no matter how this thing turns out.

If you and Charley do not return to us in the way that we hope, I pray that all of us – we who love you – will find our own way home into our heart of hearts as a way to honor you and celebrate the immense light you’ve brought into this world.

To you, Charley, Jenny, Amelia and your whole family: peace be with you. We are unwaveringly here for you,

-Michael Rempel