ARTIST BIO: An accomplished musician and composer, Eban Schletter is a master of the Theremin (think the Beach Boys’ “Good Vibrations”) and is the man behind the music for SpongeBob SquarePants. (His long list of accomplishments go on from there, but if those two facts alone don’t pique your interest, you should go in the bathroom and scrawl “LOSER” across your forehead with a red marker. Remember you’re looking at your reflection in the mirror.) (On second hand, don’t worry about it; the fact that you’ve written it backwards will make it all the more effective.)

ALBUM PREMISE: A military satellite, launched for who-knows-what purposes of evil, begins receiving transmissions of strange Christmas music from the cosmos. Eventually, even the seemingly-heartless robotic space warrior has to question its mission and is won over by the “energy field of distilled Christmas spirit.” Things take a twist for the good a la David Bowie’s “Space Oddity”. Peace prevails.

MUSICAL ANALYSIS: Extraterrestrial dub. Schletter offers up a sonic weave that takes the spirit of the season beyond the nativity scene in front of the local hardware store, creating a holiday space opera for the ages.

FOR ULTIMATE LISTENING EXPERIENCE: Me, I’d suggest dosing the whole family (except for Uncle Ned – you don’t want to cross-pollinate his head when he’s on his third straight day of eggnog stupor), get ‘em comfy around the living room, and crank this puppy up. Be prepared to soothe souls who get weirded out by the ghostlier moments of the space dub mix. By the time Commander Schletter touches the rig down with “Auld Lang Syne,” it’ll be just one big ol’ group hug. No doubt, Cosmic Christmas will bring your family closer together than it has been in years.