8/19/10, THURSDAY

Thursday morning, many of us awoke to the news that during Wednesday’s setbreak, some dude decided to take a running/flying leap off the mezzanine ledge, landing in Section 2, halfway down Row HH, breaking seat # 11^^^, causing some minor injuries to the people he hit (though, they apparently received seat upgrades to section B! SWEET DEAL!), and splattering “blood everywhere”. That’s some crazy After School Special Reefer Madness type shit!

Dude didn’t die! He DID suffer massive head trauma and was airlifted to the hospital. A friend of mine actually saw him drop and “heard and felt the impact” (what other witnesses described as “a sickening thud”) from about 20 rows back. She and a lot of other people spent the entire 2nd set (and following days) worrying if he was going to be okay. The jumper is reportedly going to be fine, and though his face is “busted up” he apparently is on the road to recovery, which is why I don’t feel bad at all for calling this guy a total fucking idiot.

I have no idea what the fuck this kid was thinking (granted, that Antelope was ridiculous) or what his intentions were, but here’s where I’m gonna get all preachy and blind-side you with the logic of a jaded Old Skooler. Two of my hippie-mentors throughout the years are an elder-hippie couple who had taped to their refrigerator door, 3 Family Rules to abide by. These rules have always stuck with me. If there’s any way to turn the Jones Beach Jumper Incident into a valuable lesson for the kiddies, I’d like to facilitate that, because it can only improve the quality of all future shows we attend. No one likes to bleed from their ears, boys and girls. Are you ready for the rules that will change the future of live music? Can you handle this?

RULE 1: Be responsible.

RULE 2: Know your buzz.

RULE 3: Don’t fuck up.

.. the more you know!

The Jones Beach Jumper managed some sort of EPIC FAIL when it comes to ALL 3 of these simple rules. Not only did he almost kill himself, he could have easily taken many others with him. I’ll go out on a limb here and say that the Phish organization don’t want or need people dying (or even maiming themselves) at their shows. Everyone is incredibly lucky that this ended as well as it did— 1 “busted face” (and 1 bruised ego?) is quite possibly the Best Case Scenario here. Now, what have we learned so I can get off this soapbox? Don’t eat the purple barrels, dummy!

It was nice to be a part of the Tour closer! The shows were really good, they definitely had some wow-moments and nice surprises, but my aforementioned setlist woes lay heavy on the mind. It seems that many people enjoyed these two shows more than I did— I am happy for those people. It happens. Phish’s Tour Legs were going strong, but perhaps I am just coming to the realization that it can’t all be as magical as those 3 MSG shows last year. Le sigh. That said, I’d do it all over again. As always, it was awesome getting to hang with friends and enjoy Phish together. Perhaps I’ll see y’all in the Fall?

^ The Mary Hart has triggered many a migraine in it’s day, lemme tellya.

^^ YEM used to wear a helmet.

^^^ Eerily enough, he landed exactly where the L.I. Wrecking Crew were on Tuesday night. Ugh.

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