As tachyons will attest (assuming they have the ability to attest, we can’t quite track them down to get a direct quote), these have been strange days. Indeed, the operator of the TARDIS notes, “People assume that time is a straight progression of cause to effect but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.”

All of this explains why Phish will be celebrating New Year’s Eve on 4/20 (Plus, Agent Mobius and his cohorts in the Time Variance Authority do tend to blaze on). As we learned this week, Gov’t Mule has postponed their December 30 and 31 shows at the Beacon for the foreseeable future after initially altering the TVA’s Sacred Timeline so that they could celebrate on April 8 and 9. In equally stunning turn of events, Boston Celtics center Robert “Time Lord” Williams is currently out of action following Wednesday’s surgery to repair a meniscus tear. 

It is in this spirit we report that while Jambands.com’s special April first news will indeed appear on April first, that April first is yet in our future (and/or the present). Stay tuned. Indeed, time has turned elastic.