DARK STAR, WHARF RATS, & THE WHEEL: The Shadow Side and the Future of Jews, Deadheads, and the World as We know it

The history of the Grateful Dead is inseparable from the use of psychedelic drugs. Born of the Acid Tests, author Ken Kesey and the ‘Merry Prankste r’s’ experiments in human/drug interactions, the band was never far from an association with one or another mind-altering substance (see Wolfe, 1968) . LSD, marijuana, and a range of other hallucinogens fueled their early creativity. Their escape from Haight-Ashbury signaled a shift to even more dangerous diversions including speed, cocaine, and heroin.

He’s gone, and nothin’s gonna bring him back…

While several members of the Grateful Dead ceased to rely on drugs as their muse, other members fell into a cycle of abuse and addiction that eventu ally led to their deaths. The first to go was Pigpen who died from his alcoholism in 1973. Keith Godchaux died in a 1980 car wreck, probably while driving under the influence. Brent Mydland died of a drug overdose in 1990. And most recently Jerry Garcia’s longtime heroin addiction contributed to the heart failure that claimed his life while in treatment at a Marin County residential facility.

Now he’s gone Lord, he’s gone…And nothin’s gonna bring him back…

Deadheads often shared the same diversions and demons as the band members, and knew all too well the ‘shadow’ side of an otherwise joyous obsession. Among Dead fans, lives were lost, and others changed forever, while in pursuit of, or as a result of, “having a high time.”

Dark Star crashes, pouring its light into ashes…

One such casualty was Adam Katz, a young Jewish man found dead outside the Meadowlands Arena in New Jersey during a Grateful Dead concert in 1989. His family has spent the years since then seeking information about Adam’s mysterious and tragic death, and offering a reward totaling $40,000 (see “ An Appeal from the Family,” 1995).

Half of my life, I spent doin’ time for some other f***er’s crime, the other half found me stumblin’ around drunk on Burgandy wine…

There exists a medical myth that Jews are somehow less prone to alcohol abuse, and thus to addiction, because wine figures centrally into Jewish rit ual practice. This reasoning focuses on Kiddush, the prayer and ceremony that sanctifies the Sabbath and Jewish holy days and is recited over a cup of wine. Wine is used prominently in the seder meal and to celebrate all manner of simchas (joyous events) in the Jewish lifecycle. The notion that purposeful use somehow prevents the abuse of wine or other alcohol and drugs is nonsense. Among Deadheads Jewish and not, where ritual use of addic tive substances is also part of common practice, the same problems exist as in the population at large where approximately ten percent may suffer fro m some type of addiction. Anyone who chooses to partake may indeed fall prey to the inability to refrain.

But I’ll be back on my feet someday, the good Lord willin,’ if He says I may. I know that the life I’m livin’s no good, I’ll get a new start, live t he life I should…

Hope, creativity, and ingenuity abound in the Deadhead community, however, as evidenced in the formation of the “Wharf Rats,” a self-help group base d on the ’12-Step’ model of recovery from addiction, and named after the Dead song that chronicles the struggle of a character named August West to o vercome his wino ways. During the latter years of Grateful Dead performances, recovering Deadheads would gather in a specified location for a “meeti ng,” sharing stories and support in their own struggles to stay sober.

There’s a band out on the highway, they’re highsteppin’ into town, it’s a rainbow full of sound, it’s fireworks, calliopes, and clowns, everybody’s d ancin’…

These days, dispatches from San Francisco tell tales of the sordid wranglings over Garcia’s estate. At the same time, Grateful Dead Merchandising ( the bands mail-order service) continues to release long-sought recordings of classic concerts in a series called “Dick’s Picks,” after their archivis t Dick Latvala. And the recent tour by The Other Ones is a confluence of former and new band members with emphasis placed both on new material and r eworked versions of Grateful Dead staples.

Sun went down in honey and the moon came up in wine, you know the stars were spinnin’ dizzy, Lord the band kept us so busy, we forgot about the time. ..

Even as threads of the original band are woven into new musical patterns, other strands are being spun off in a myriad of new ways. Close relatives like the bands Zero, Missing Man Formation, and Merle Saunders’ Rainforest Band, are joined by numerous groups covering material from the Grateful D ead repertoire to keep the original flame alive. Meanwhile, several “groove” bands bring the Dead’s spirit of improvisation to their own music. Amo ng these newer groups are Blues Traveler, Widespread Panic, Rusted Root, moe., and the Dave Matthews Band, each of which is gaining a following with qualities reminiscent of the Dead’s.

Keep on dancin’ through to daylight, greet the morning air with song, no one’s noticed, but the band’s all packed and gone, Was it ever here at all? But they keep on dancin’…

The most prominent and popular band of this new, post-Dead legacy is Phish, a quartet from Burlington, Vermont, known for their zany stage antics an d extended musical excursions. Two founding members of Phish, Jon Fishman and Mike Gordon, are Jews, and the band’s already vast and eclectic repert oire has delved into Jewish music on several occasions. On their recording Hoist, strains of the tune “Jerusalem of Gold” are heard at the conclusio n of another song. And reports are that “Avinu Malkenu” (Our Father, Our King), a chant from the Yom Kippur liturgy, has shown up in more than one o f their live performances. With a horde of devoted fans following their tours and ever-changing song selection (fans even publish a Pharmer’s Almana c to track the band’s output), Phish clearly resembles the Dead and is poised to serve as a replacement for Deadheads, both Jewish and not.

Well the cool breeze came on Tuesday, and the corn’s a bumper crop, and the fields are full of dancin,’ full of singin’ and romancin,’ and the music never stopped…

EPILOGUE: The Wheel is Turning and You Can’t Slow Down

After his bar mitzvah in the Orthodox tradition, my father found his way to the Reform movement. This is the modern, third branch of Judaism which in it’s origins dispensed with certain practices (such as the wearing of yarmulkah and tallit), and often took on the trappings of Christian worship including choirs, pipe organs, and large, ornate sanctuaries. As I looked to the Grateful Dead in my own search for chevra, ruach, and neshama, my s earch mirrored the way in which my dad sought a Judaism different from that of his own parents.

Like other Jews in the diaspora, the historic dispersion from the Jewish homeland to resettlement around the world, my search for spirituality and c ommunity has been a “long strange trip.” From large, sterile synagogues to concert halls where I worshipped at the altar of rock and roll, I’ve now come full-circle to a new and joyous experience of Judaism. I am active in a family-based havurah (fellowship group) affiliated with the fourth and newest branch, Reconstructionist Judaism, which embraces time-honored traditions while evolving to incorporate egalitarian liturgy and practice. In addition, I have found a “post-denominational” point of view in Jewish Renewal (see Lerner, 1994), which mirrors many Hasidic ways while embracing Je wish mysticism and welcoming perspectives from the teachings and practice of Native-American, Sufi, Buddhist, and other spiritual paths.

Like many of those diverse traditions, Jewish Renewal has encouraged seeking a ‘teacher’ to guide one’s spiritual journey. I first found such a gui de in Reb Ya’acov Gabriel, a rabbi and musician who recorded and toured as a secular artist before turning to mostly religious themes. (It helps tha t “Rabbi Jack” saw the Grateful Dead perform at the Fillmore and crossed paths with them on Haight Street.)

From Reb Ya’acov I learned of the Hasidic master Reb Nachman of Bratzlav (1772-1810) who suggested that “to go from sadness to joy we should do at l east one ‘silly’ thing each day.” This then certainly resonates with both my Jewish roots and my Deadhead and ‘Prankster’ spirit. Reb Nachman “also encouraged learning simple, heartful tunes to sing anytime we needed to elevate our spirits.” Again, the Dead’s music has brought levity and solace to me on countless occasions, just as the old rebbe said it would. And Reb Nachman told how to “borrow joy” by reflecting on a time when we were ha ppy in order to enrich us in the present. So many times I have thought back to the ecstatic dancing at a Dead show to bring “just a little light” in to my life. (Gabriel, 1998, p. 1)

One more of Reb Nachman’s teachings may be transvalued for use in this way. He said that each of us needs a “dead hour,” when we are removed from t he distractions of our daily world and able to connect with God in our own way, using our own language to pour out our appreciation of life as well a s our tears and heartaches. As a Jew and a Deadhead I’ve done this for well over twenty years, finding a voice in the songs of the Grateful Dead tha t makes a deep spiritual connection to my historic community and religious tradition. By straddling these two communities I double my opportunitites for finding a deep connection to the divine.

So, that must be why the Grateful Dead was always following Jews around. Let your life proceed by its own design…let the words be yours I’m done with mine…

__________

Douglas M. Gertner, Ph.D., is a teacher, trainer, consultant, and author in Denver, Colorado. He is active in Reconstructionist Judaism and Jewish Renewal activities as a founding member of a five-year-old havurah group, and a two-time member of the ALEPH Kallah Steering Committee. After attending more than 5O Grateful Dead concerts he keeps the flame alive with his multimedia presentation “Who were the Grateful Dead and Why were they always following Jews around?” which has been attended by hundreds of fans since 1996. The author wishes to thank the following for their comments on an earlier draft of this essay: Eve Babitz, Rabbi Eliot Baskin, Rabbi Jack Gabriel, Prof. Michael Kimmel, Patty Lynn, Dennis McNally, Beatrice Merkin, Barrett Miller, Todd A. Prusin, Rabbi Brant Rosen, Prof. Howard Sacks, Prof. Steven Schwartz, Prof. Sally Stich, Molly Wingate and Maggie Miller, my dance partner in life and at shows, who first encouraged me to ‘go public’ with this mishegaas.

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