photo: Elizabeth Row (via Wikimedia Commons)

In March, two music legends once again allowed their music to stream on Spotify after an extended time away from the service. Both Neil Young and Joni Mitchell restored their discographies following a two-year hiatus.

In the wake of this announcement, the Kentish Fife and Drums Corps has revealed that its recordings will be available once again on Spotify after a much longer interlude. The award-winning Fife and Drum Corps, which last performed during the Revolutionary War confirmed its interest via Corps Commander Hector Heathcote, who stated, “A halfpenny per stream? That’s not much by 18th century standards but what are we going to do?”

Upon being informed that the rate was actually a hundredth of a halfpenny (if not less—it was recently cited as $.00173), Heathcote responded, “Well that’s not a living wage.”

When reminded that this may be irrelevant as he died over two centuries ago, Heathcote shrugged and said, “That’s Spotify for you.”

Then he announced that the Kentish Fife and Drums Corps would once again remove their music from the service and its members would support themselves by extortion-haunting, starting with the journalist who alerted him of the discrepancy.

The reporter uttered a solemn, “Zoinks!” and fled the scene.