The idea that great art only comes out of suffering remains an ongoing debate. Timothy Showalter unintentionally makes a case for its beneficial results with Strand of Oaks' sixth album, Eraserland.
He feelsthat surfacing from the depths of depression led him to the bestrepresentation of Oaks and reaching his full potential as a songwriter whoregularly plows the fertile terrain of self-examination. Still, Showalteremphasized during our conversation that despite the artistic success of Eraserland, he embraces the change to amore pragmatic outlook of his sense of self-worth.
Hisfriendship with My Morning Jacket gave him the necessary spark to reach aclearer understanding of his life and career. Hearing about Showalter's condition,Carl Broemel contacted him and related that keyboardist Bo Koster had atwo-week break from his tour with Roger Waters. He already booked session timeat La La Land Studios in Louisville. The act of kindness forced Showalter to beactive in ways that weren't exclusively negative.
The two MMJ members were joined by bandmates Patrick Hallahan and Tom Blankenship. Jason Isbell also contributed to the album. Last March an ad hoc grouping of Isbell, Amanda Shires, Will Johnson (Centro-Matic), Koster and Blankenship joined Showalter for a live performance of "Ruby," the new album's second single, on "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert"
On theband's website, Showalter offers his take on the experience. (Go to www.strandofoaks.net for the full text.)
"Thisrecord wasn't supposed to be here...they believed I could and pulled me backfrom the brink. At last, the songs came–and quickly morphed into everythingI've ever worked toward as this band.
Theseten songs are about existing and continuing on, a testament to the hope thateven if we feel like we are disappearing, there is that glimmer of light. Youmay not come out the same person you started as, but that's okay. I'm glad thisrecord is here now for whoever chooses to find it.
Welcometo Eraserland, where we all can start again."
I find himin a forthcoming and affable mood that made the constraints of keeping to hisinterview schedule extremely difficult. (“Ifquestions about Phish get brought up, then I’m gonna talk for even longer.”) After a quick catching up onDead & Company, we jumped into the deep waters that surround Eraserland.
JPG: I met you a couple years and we discussed your desire tosee Dead & Company perform. Did that ever work out?
TS: Theproblem with Dead & Company is that they choose to play Philly exactly whenI always have shows. And, unfortunately, the Philly show last year got rainedout. (He's referencing the band's June 2 show at BB&T Pavilion in Camden,New Jersey that was cut short due to a rainstorm.)
It's beenreally fun and interesting to watch that evolve. Itfeels like John Mayer’s having more fun and maybe that overwhelming sense ofthe catalog...just seems like he's enjoying himself a lot. Probably after we’redead and gone, John Mayer’s grandkids are gonna be whatever the Dead is in ahundred years, if we still exist.
It’sbeautiful music. It's the same as people were playing Rogers & Hammersteinmusicals still. It's not the original cast. With the best music, and especiallymusic like that, it's meant to be eternal. You can complain all you want butyou still want to hear some form of it live. You're going to enjoy it.
JPG: I had no problem with your jamming ways onHard Love. Maybe some people did. Thenew album, Eraserland, seems like areaction to that and is more concise. And I have no problem with that because Ifeel that if you like an artist you follow that person through whatever theydo, especially if a particular direction can be changed on the next album.
TS:That's beautiful. That's an amazing way to look at it. Unfortunately, I'm toohard on myself. I don't care about criticism or compliments because I have thatinternal narrative in my head. I give my own show criticisms after every show.I don't need to read a newspaper about it because in my head I can go back toevery....I don't know why, I'm such a space case in every other part of my lifebut when I play a concert, it's so sacred to me that I know every note that Iplayed when I walk offstage and every note I didn't want to play or how Ididn't communicate with the rhythm section at this point or...and then the goodthings.
But, itis just that idea of with Hard Loveit was a reactionary thing, especially live, where if anyone saw me during the Heal tour it was a pretty wild event. Itwas more about the impulsiveness...it was almost performance art. I was purgingmyself of...whatever, but unfortunately for me, as a pretty self-criticalperson, I was like, "I wanna play guitar better. I know I threw my guitaron the ground during this song and I was rolling around on the ground because Iwas feeling it but with "Hard Love" I want to actually learn. I wantto be a better player!"
The issuewith Hard Love is I'm a manic guy, soI went way too far into that and I kind of removed myself from that connectionwith the audience because I really did just want to be better.That's what happens when you start listening to Trey [Anastasio]. You're like,"Damn! I'm never gonna be that good but I could be better!"So, that's what "Hard Love" was.
Then...it'sa long story but to put it frankly, I got sad. I got really down.
JPG: I understand that. There are days when it's hard tosurface.
TS:Surface is a good word. I could relate to that completely.
JPG: So, you were below surface...
TS: Way below.
JPG: You say you don't respond to criticism, but it didn't getthe same adulation of Heal, still,did that affect you or did you feel something was missing or you just didn'tfeel right?
TS: Ithink I didn't feel right because it was...obviously, I'm a lead singer andlead guitar player because I probably desperately want everyone to loveme. (laughs) That is an inherent personal thing that I have. I don't knowwhat it is, if it's a good thing or bad thing, who knows? But, my main thingwas I got too wrapped up in...I put too much of myself into the identity of theband. Because of that, I equated my career going off track and I just thoughtit was my career going off track but in reality it was me, as a person, not thefucking band. It was me and my mental health. I just couldn't make thatseparation because I was way too deep until it was too late and I didn't wantto do it anymore. That's where I was.
It seemslike it was written in a movie but it's true. At that lowest point, that's whenCarl Broemel from [My Morning] Jacket reached out at the time I needed it themost. They're nice guys, and I don't know if they were aware that I was down.They may have been because it's a small community. Regardless, they did.
I don'tknow if you feel this way when you get down but the one thing, it's like theIndiana farmer blood in me...be active. No idle time. That's a truestatement. If I don't have anything going on I twirl downward fast.
I thinkas friends and people that I love, everybody involved with the record -- theJacket guys, Kevin Ratterman who produced it -- I think they realized that thebest thing for Tim right now is to get him doing something, and let's make thisrecord and get together. They booked the studio time. They figured all thatout. I didn't do any of that, and I'm always the one doing that.
JPG: If you're not feeling active and positive and in the moodto make a record, you can get that call from Carl, tell him what he wants tohear, hang up and go back to bed. So, there must have been something within youto move forward, even a little bit, to put a few words together as the firststep towards song lyrics, even if they're not very good. It's a start. Is thathow it went or were you coming out of it around the same time and realizingthat the band is one thing but it's not you as a person?
TS:Yeah...(pauses) That's a good question. You always know when you ask a goodquestion if I don't immediately have 10,000 words to say. It's a compliment ifI stumble. (slight laugh) Oh no! My brain is thinking!
I feellike it was an opportunity that even being depressed, you can't pass up. I lovethis band. I saw them in 2001 when I was in college when Jim [James] wasbarefoot and had a deer skull he was singing through or something like that.And I love them as people because we played a bunch of shows together. And Jimand I have been friends. All that stuff.
So, whenI started, I was like, "I'm going to write songs for them," in thesense of to the quality that they deserve as musicians. I almost was able tostep out of myself and write for them. Then, quietly, Iwrote it for myself. I know this sounds like multiple personalities but it wasa psychological process that I was able to get to that point.
And likeyou said, the concise nature of Eraserlandbecause our goal was that...and I'm glad you picked that up, because we kindamodeled it after Dark Side of the Moon. I'll propose this. If you think about Dark Side of the Moon like I do, I feel like they're jamming theentire time. In memory I feel like [David] Gilmour is soloing the whole recordbut then when you listen to it it's so orchestrated and precise, and there'snot that many guitar solos as I think. That's what we did with Eraserland where in your mind you feellike there's, even for me I feel like "Forever Chords" is 20 minuteslong and it's actually 9 minutes, but in my memory Bo's keyboard solo goes forfive minutes but in reality it's three bars and it's done.
I lovethat in my headspace as opposed to HardLove that I just wanted everything loose, everythingcompletely organic and in the dirt. Then, Eraserland, through the help of all of us, it quickly took shape. Asong like "Forever Chords" is two chords, C into E minor, but everysingle bar of that song is choreographed of dynamics. It took us so longto get that way, and I'm so much more proud of us doing it that way instead ofme looking at four amazing musicians and like, "Let's just do it, guys!Whatever! We'll see where it goes."
That'show I exist a lot as an artist. When I play live, when I play solos, mybandmates call it "Sherlocking" because I'm discovering themystery of the guitar. (laughs) I'm not quite sure if I'm going to hit theright note. And that's how I love it. I like to be wild but I think the Jacketguys understood that and at the same time was able to understand thearrangements more than I learned. I got friends that have told me, "Thissounds like the Strand of Oaks I always thought you were." (slight laugh)And it's funny that it took My Morning Jacket to make me sound more like Strandof Oaks and not like Jacket.
JPG: I can see what you're saying about Dark Side of the Moon. My notes on Eraserland mentioned that "Weird Ways" reminded meof The War On Drugs in the sense its atmospheric with a 70mm widescreencinematic feel to it....
TS:Widescreen is a good word.
JPG: ...and the rest of the album is a combination of The Drugs,My Morning Jacket and Neil Young "On the Beach" era mixed with hislive album "Arc-Weld"...
TS: Ohyeah! Oh yeah! Very much.
JPG: ...but concise.
TS: Thatwas definitely Kevin, who produced it. Whenever you hear those guitar parts on"Visions" or something that's sounds like a Pterodactyl swooping in,that's Kevin. What he added was all those flavors of beautiful ugliness(laughs) that exists and that static-y...I'm trying not to talk about drugs atall during this press cycle because I spent way too long on Hard Luck and too much energy in it, itdiminished the results of the record but I will say this, alot of this record feel like the last hour of your acid trip. It feels likeit's that static electricity when the reality is blending with what you justexperienced and you're in that limbo. I think that's what Kevin's guitar partsand certain elements we have these residual effects that linger, echoing ofthat experience, and that ultimately led to the finale of "ForeverChords" where all of that culminates into that maximalist arrangementthere.
JPG: In a way, it goes back to surfacing.
TS: Yes,surfacing! That could have been the title of the record. It's a beautiful word.
JPG: I was watching videos of you online -- interviews andperformances -- and I met you a couple years ago. We're around the same size.Both with long beards. And according to the situation and my mood I could beintimidating to strangers.
TS: Yeah,well, my dad always says, "Don't tell a stranger that your dog'snice." (laughs)
JPG: So, what I'm getting to is that if I didn't know you butgot in a bar fight, just by looks I'd pick you to be on my side, (Tim laughs)but you have a very empathetic, intellectual and emotional side. So, havingthat look, is it enjoyment? A facade to hide behind your sensitive self? Justcomplex?
TS: Ithink it's complex. It's not like a direct line to explain me. Like some piecesof art, it makes absolute sense in a sentence to sum it up but I don't think Ican do that because part of it is I just love everything whenit comes to music and aesthetics and even fashion. Some days I'll be wearing aponcho and neon green Nikes, and the next day I'll look like Lemmy [Kilmisterof Motorhead].
Somepeople call me flaky. I'm not flaky. It's just that I like so many differentthings. I might say that this band is my favorite today and then a new band ismy favorite tomorrow because it's true. There's always thatrotating thing in my head, especially how I somehow have come to look.Sometimes, I look in the mirror and think, "Who the hell is thisguy?" But, I do love it. It's kinda my costume in a way. Maybe Freud wouldtell me, "Your beard literally is a mask to hide." And I'd be,"Good job, Freud. You're fucking right. It helps meexist."
My bestfriend in the world gives me my tattoos. Every single one means the world tome. So, those are special. My wife basically dresses me, which is a savinggrace for me, especially shit I wear a lot she tells me, "Wear shit thatyou won't be embarrassed you were wearing in 10 years." Keep it simple. Tome the neon green Nikes don't keep it that simple but that's just my flair(slight laugh), and I buy all the sneakers that my parents couldn't afford whenI was little. Now, I get the Reebok Pumps and everything.
JPG: Among the videos I watched was your "What's In My Bag?"segment for Amoeba Records from three years ago... By the way, you picked upPeter Gabriel's Security. Greatchoice! That's his absolute best album. He literally took adrum machine for that album, wiped out its memory and went around banging pipes,busting glass and stuff in order to create new rhythms.
TS: It was the height of getting label money and actually doinggood things with it. (laughs) Getting an endless budget actually producingincredible results.
JPG: During that a viewer can see the wide spectrum of stylesand artists that you hold dear. So, were there any particular artists thatinspired you in making "Eraserland" or the involvement of the membersof My Morning Jacket or coming out of your depression?
TS: Likesurfacing? Musically, what helped me surface was Talk Talk and specifically thealbum "Spirit of Eden." If you listen to that and put on"Eraserland," although I cannot compare "Eraserland" tomaybe one of the best records ever made, but the tone of "Spirit ofEden" you'll hear instantly where "Eraserland" came from,because there's this overwhelming sense of space that they create.
We didn'teven talk about it in the studio but all of us love Talk Talk. Even Carl cameto me one day when we were recording and said, "I went home and I hadn'tlistened to Talk Talk for years..." I was like, "Wait! What promptedyou to do this?" "I don't know. I just felt like it." I thought,"Yep, it's in the water, for sure."
For me alot of the stuff when I was down, the one thing I did do was, I always dabbledin visual art, and I started being creative visually. A lot of that was oilpastels, smearing and stream-of-consciousness creating. That really informedthe record to a certain extent. I know it's the biggest trope in the book,"Oh great, the songwriter's getting into painting." (slight laugh)But it definitely helped.
JPG: Have you hit that point where you're willing to show yourwork to someone other than your wife and maybe a close friend?
TS: Ilike it. The reason why I like it is because I don't know how to do it. So, Idon't know if I'm doing it right or not, and that's really fun for me. But,right now, if you come into my office where I have my little studio, my wallsare filled with it. (laughs) Maybe eventually down the line I'll get thecourage. For now, it's just a nice representation to inspire me in a differentway. It helps me write songs, for sure.
JPG: It's creativity with innocence and there's nothing attachedto it.
TS: Verymuch! I know how to make music to a certain degree. I constantly have to fightto not industrialize it and not take the magic away from it. What's great aboutif I get an equal balance of doing visual art is that's all magicbecause I don't know how it works, and I don't know methods or any trainingat all. That allows me to go back to my music and be like, "I know how toshift this chord structure and chorus but I'm not going to think about that forthis one as much." I'm writing new songs and it's so fun. I think I'veopened up a new door. "There's a lot more melodies I haven't discoveredyet. This is great."
JPG: That brings up a couple things that sum it all up. The song"Weird Ways," if I'm interpreting it correctly it's turning your backon the darker days...
TS: Yeah.
JPG: ...and with the line "And the scene isn't my sceneanymore" as well as the line in the album's credits, "To everyonethat listens: "If you believe you can be loved, You'll outlive yourpast." (the line is from "Forever Chords")
TS:That's the bookends of the record. I spend those 10 songs trying to answer whyI don't feel it anymore and find some kind of clarity through that. That linein "Forever Chords." I think that's my proudest line I've writtenever. It sums it up; what I've been thinking, working for or fighting against mywhole life. Perhaps, a lot of people feel that way. Directly after that is
"I hope it never ends." That's, maybe, the most positivething I've ever said in my music. (laughs)
